Believers vs. the church

So the past two days have been pretty encouraging.  A lot has happened.  Much ministry, much fun, and much learning.  Here's the highlights. 

So yesterday we went out to campus we had some time to re focus as a team and for ourselves.  My good friend/birthday twin Chris Denning led worship for us (which was awesome) and we had some time to reflect on what God has done and what we would like to see him do.  Spent some time re visiting some of the goals I have set for the summer/making new ones, and praying for a lot of stuff and a lot of people.

We went to our home campuses and Aaron and I teamed up.  We went outside to the beach area (kingsborough has a beach which is way cool) and looked for someone to do Soularium with.  I spotted a girl who looked like she might be muslim(by her dress) and I thought to myself hmm we should talk to her...and before I could even suggest it, Aaron was already making his way over to her.  So began to do the Soularium  survey.   we found out she was indeed a Muslim (big time).  Aaron and I both don't really know too much about the Muslim faith so we asked her tons of questions, and she told us sooooo much! it was really neat...she kept saying that there are a lot of similarities between Islam and Christianity.  To make a very long story short, we talked for like 2 hours...We did get to share the gospel with her a little bit just by explaining what we believe and how its different from Islam.  However she kept sort of interupting ( i dont think it was on purpose) and bringing it back to Islam so I figured there was no way we were going to get through the KnowingGodPersonally booklet with her so I wrote my information down on a KGP and gave it to her and said that I would love for her to read it because it expresses what we believe as Christ followers...She sort of started looking through it and said she would...and I know for a fact she really will read it...so even though the conversation didn't lead to any kind of decision, it was still an amazing conversation, she even said she believed she was meant to meat us and it was just really cool. 

Today we went to City Tech (the campus we usually can't get into).  We prayer walked for a bit, cuz we really wanted to get on campus and we prayed that we might find a way on.  So we had previously been told that if you "go to the admissions office" you can go in...so we asked to go...we did go for like 2 seconds but then we went to go talk to students :) God provided!  We approached a girl named Natasha.  We went through Soularium with her and through the questions, her answers, and us just dialoging with her we found out that she desired to know God.  We went through the KGP with her and she seemed really receptive...she acknowledged that she did not have Christ in her life and wanted it...but just as we were going through the last part her friend came up...which was cool...she was really nice and got to listen in on the convo...but when we asked Natasha if she wanted to give her life to Christ she said she did but she wanted to do it later...I am convinced that if her friend had not come up she would have accepted Christ...but I know that happened for a reason! We got both of their contact info and gave them ours and hope that that will not be our last conversation...be praying for them!

After that Jenny and I talked to a girl named Monika.  She is actually from Poland.  Again we busted out the Soularium.  She told us that she moved here when she was 13, she is married and has a little boy.  I am guessing she is around the age of 24ish.  When we got to the God questions she told us that her family is Roman Catholic and she only goes to church sometimes.  She is in the middle between believing and not believing, and she would like to know God but doesn't know how that happens and wants proof.  I asked her if we could share what we believed with her, she agreed and so I went through the KGP with her and Jenny and I tried to explain the gospel in a way that she would best understand.  She had a lot of questions...and said she knew some of the things we were telling her because of church.  We tried to explain that each of us have to make the decision for ourselves and that God can change us from the inside out.  It was such a good conversation and I really think Monika will eventually come to Christ...she was so close today...but we gave her our info, the KGP (she wanted to continue to look over it,process it, which is really good) and we gave her a copy of the book A Case For Christ...which was so perfect because this morning we were given a couple copies to hand out and isn't cool how God works and the person we gave ours to was someone who needs proof of Jesus :)

I was so encouraged by all of that yesterday and today but also frustrated.  I feel like ever since I have gotten here I have felt the battle between Christianity and religion.  For example the girl we talked to yesterday thought that Christians had to go through someone else to know God.  Monika thought that you have to go to church/be good and follow all of the rules to know God.  Monika comes from a Roman Catholic background...and while im not ragging on the Catholic church I am ragging on tradition.  We face the same thing in the south...people some how get the idea that all we have to do to get to heaven/know God is to go to church and try to be good.  And if these people are in church and still think this then something is wrong with how the church (AS A WHOLE) is presenting the gospel...catholic, baptist, methodist, whatever...it frustrates me that so many people think that they meet God's standard for good...why do so many miss the truth.  I think part of the issue is a lot of times we are afraid we are going to "offend" someone...well let me tell ya, the gospel IS OFFENSIVE...just look at Jesus...the truth he spoke offended people, stepped on toes, and called them out.  We are doing man kind more of an injustice by not truthfully exposing the gospel to what it really is as opposed to telling people what they want to hear and putting a big ole layer of sugar on it.

Yes People need to know that church is improtant, and that God loves him...but they also need to know that we can not earn salvation!  We can not do ANYTHING to earn God's love, or prove our goodness to him because we WILL FAIL!  We fall short...ALL OF US! We ALL come out of the womb a sinner and no matter how "good" we try to be we will always mess up!  Therefore we are unacceptable to have fellowship with God...but we are made ACCEPTABLE by the grace given by Jesus...God sacrificed himself to be the bridge...so that we can have fellowship and a relationship with him.  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God (ephesians 2:8)

This miss understanding leaves people coming out of churches empty and confused as to why they can't feel God.  Leaving them wondering if he even exists.  I know many churches do an amazing job at making sure that people understand the gospel and God's requirement for us.  But it does frustrate me when I hear stories of people being taught distorted doctrine or believing the lies that satan has planted right under our noses.

Truth is that God longs to redeem us! to have a relationship with us, and to lead us to abundant life living for him.  All we have to do is ask him to come into our lives and surrender control to him...Revelation 3:20 says "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."In Hebrew times, to eat with someone was very intimate, and was a sign of acceptance...when it says that he will come in and eat with us and us with him this means that he accepts us JUST AS WE ARE and all we have to do is invite him, accept him!then he does the rest...Accepting his grace means we no longer have to try to be good but he changes us from the inside out and we desire to live for him.  Thank God for GRACE. Im glad I gave my heart to Christ and not Religion.

No wonder Broadway screams WICKED!!!!

WOW what an amazing weekend it has been thus far! allow me to highlight!

Friday Sami and I went to the Metropolitan Museum of art with our international buddy Kathy!  It was soooo amazing! We spent like 4 hours there and prolly didn't even see half of it.  I was sure to go to the painting exhibits before we left ( I was not leaving without seeing Van Gogh and Monet)...I got to see more Warholl, Matise, Picasso, Pollock :) AND I seriously could not contain myself when I saw two whole rooms dedicated to Degas (my 3rd favorite) A room and a half dedicated to Monet (my 2nd favorite), and a partial room dedicated to Van Gogh (my number 1) I could stare at if for hours, I was just amazed!  Sami and I actually got to have some really good spiritual conversations and eventually got to share the gospel!  It was a great start to what hopefully be more conversations! Please pray that the Lord will continue to work on her heart and that she will put her trust in Christ!

Friday night our entire project went to a minor league baseball game on Staten Island! It was a ton of fun! On our way over to Staten Island a huge thunder storm came out of no where...they had to delay the came a couple of hours but we eventually got goin! It was such a fun atmosphere...like urban city meets small town community.  Seriously so fun...and our group package got us unlimited food (well hot dogs and hamburgers) and free hats.

TODAY :)

So today ROCKED! I got to catch up on some sleep...went to the Wicked lottery at 11:30 to try to get tickets for the 2:00 show but failed :( After that George and I went walkin around the city, ate lunch, and then gathered together some others to go throw the frisbee in Central Park...which was so fun!  It was sunny all day(except for a 5 minute monsoon), which has not happened much since we have been here!  LATER I went to the Wicked lottery again to try and get tickets for the evening show...AND I WAS THE FIRST NAME CALLED!  Apparently my face was pretty priceless...and I know it had to have been because the called my name and i was like what? and just walked up there...I was too shocked to be excited :) but that swiftly changed as I went back to get ready.  The show was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen!!  The set was AMAZING, the chorgraphy was AMAZING, the singing was INSANE, the flying monkeys FLEW over our heads! ah it was beyond awesome...not to mention if you win the lottery you get FRONT ROW seats for only $26.25...INSANE !!! So needless to say it has been an amazing weekend and tomorrow is gonna be sweet too because it is Sunday :) yay!

"you know I like my chicken fried"

Today was so amazing!  I am at a much better place than at the beginning of the week! praise God!

So today we started our day off at "the space" and met up with the arts track before we headed out to campus.  Today we were encouraged to use Soularium as our outreach tool.  I stinkin love Soularium because it is a picture survey...you ask students to pick pictures that represent their answer to a question...it is an amazing way to connect with people(people will tell you the craziest stuff), and start really great spiritual conversations that will hopefully lead into sharing the gospel.

So my team/some art kids went over to our home college(Kingsborough).  On the subway ride over(which happens to be very very long) I took some time to hang out with Jesus...I prayed that he would fill me with his joy today...and he did. Nathan(from the arts track) was my partner, he is great.  We prayed and then headed out...the first two convos we had were not really progressive by our standards but hopefully God used us anyways...but the third convo was pretty sweet...we talked to three teachers from the high school that is located on Kingsborough's campus.  We had a dude that could have cared less about God and two ladies who came from "religious" backgrounds growing up.  We went through soularium and got some great feed back from them...I could see that the convo could possibly die and in my head I refused to leave without sharing the gospel...it was a spark of determination that kinda freaked me out honestly...So I asked a question that related to a previous answer about God and I asked that if it was possible for us to have a personal relationship with God, what would it take to achieve that...and I was astonished when they said "oh you just have to be good and live life the best you can"...whoa...then I asked if they thought that us being "good" was good enough to meet God's standard...and the response was a little more hmmm and they said well yeah...and then it came out of my mouth, the typical Crusade question...on a scale of 1-10 what is your desire to know God personally...dude said 2, girl 1 said 5.5, and girl 2 said an 8...and then it happened...we shared the gospel with them...it was way cool and so God...and even though they didn't come to a decision, its cool Jesus has the rest.   And yeah it was fun, and praise God for all of it...the good, the bad, and those three people who took the time out of their lunch to listen to a couple of crazy Christians.

We had to be back at "the space" today by 3:00 for team time...team time is great because we get to spend time praying for eachother and talking about what God has done or what we would like to see him do...Tonight for dinner we went up to Harlem for some good ole soul food...I was so excited it was ridiculous! I had fried chicken with a helpin of collards and candied yams and a big ole glass of sweeeeeeeet tea! it was a blessing to my stomach...well until after I finished eating and could barely walk from being so full ugh!  And it wasn't even that much food...I mean it was a good sized dinner but not too much...oh well needless to say im still hurtin...but it was worth it because I felt like I was in the south for like an hour!

Please be in prayer for my day tomorrow...Friday's are the day we spend with our international student (Kathy is mine).  We are going to the Metropolitan Museum of ART, home to van gogh and monet...I am far too excited...Please pray that I will not pass out while observing two of my favorite artists but more importantly that Sami and I will get to have good conversation with Kathy and hopefully get to talk with her about spiritual things.  Kathy's boyfriend is a Christian and the staff women here have told me that she is definitely searching and wants to know more about the whole Jesus thing...so that is exciting! 

PSALM 145

p.s. RestInPeace Michael Jackson :(

6 hours of intensity

Re-deem

1.a. To buy back b. To win back

2. a. To free what distresses or harms b. to free from captivity by payment of ransom c. To release from blame or debt d. To free from consequence of sin

So today was really amazing!  God definitely sent my heart some encouragement today.  We did not go to campus today because we had a guest speaker come and well speak to us.  His name is Sy Rogers and he came to talk to us about well sexual stuff.  The staff warned us that it was going to be intense, and not to mention a 4 day talk crammed into 6 hours.  He addressed a lot of the issues that most churches are either afraid to talk about or just wont.  

There is no way I would be able to tell you everything we discussed cuz it was one crazy 6 hours but so worth it.  Sy used to be a homosexual.  His mother died when he was a child, he was molested by her partner, his dad sent him away to live with some people cuz he thought it was best for him, he felt abandoned...he started having attractions but wasn't gay but people told him he must be gay and that he should embrace it...so eventually he did...later in life he actually almost got a sex change...but long story short God interrupted his plans and came into a relationship with the Lord...He said he was redeemed.  He told us that his attractions just didn't magically go away but he wanted God more...he never gave up because God meant more...Now he has been married for 25 years and has been in full time ministry for 30.  Now this is way abrieviated but if you ever get the chance to hear this mans story then you will understand just how amazing it is!

He talked a lot about how many Christians used to try to reach out to him...but he always felt like they didn't really care, they just wanted to argue.  Or how no one tried to help him with his sexual thoughts...they just immideitly dismissed him and said those thoughts are sinful, you are wrong...how often to we "Christians" do that...I realized that it is far more often than any of us would ever admit.  How many people won't come to church because of a similar experience.  How many people will never step foot inside a church or never give Jesus the time of day because we have made them feel that their sin makes them inadequate.  Well I wish it wasn't like this because God knows every sin of every person ever made.  And if he chose to tell the world what some of us, yes even the most Godly people, I don't think any of us would ever judge anyone else ever again.  For example, take all of the people Jesus saves from sexual sin alone in the Bible...The woman at the well, who had 5 lovers, Mary Magdaline, the woman caught in adultery (which is my favorite because the pharisees try to trap Jesus by bringing the woman to him and saying the law of moses says to stone her, what do you say, and my man kneels in the sand and just starts writing, writing, and he says you who are without sin throw the first stone...point being those pharisess were just as dirty as her).  We need to not dismiss these issues, but come to terms with the fact that they are real and help people deal with them.  The reason Sy is walking with Christ today is because someone CARED enough to pull him aside and share the gospel with him, not rebuke him.

He addressed so much about our sinful nature, sexual sin and not just the act, how its about our thoughts and our behaviors...it was a really great talk...but you know one thing that gripped me was when he was talking to us about how as human beings most of us do not feel good in our skin, whether that be sexually or just in terms of who we are...and you know I know I struggle with coming to terms of how God made me and feeling good about myself, and no I don't mean sexually I mean just me being me.  I am a typical silly girl! I listen to satan when it comes to me and the lies that our society loves to tell...I live across the street from a victoria secret where there are posters up of these picture perfect women with picture perfect bodies, or if only more that 8 of us in the world could be picture perfect.  This is my blog so I am not even going to pretend that I am afraid to be vulnerable because im so not!  This is me, I am real, and I have real struggles...This insecurity of mine has never been a physical disorder thank God but it sure is a mental one...I might come across as a confident person but I tear myself up 98 % of the time.  And it is so amazing that he chose to address this because one of the things I wanted God to show me this summer is to try to see myself the way he sees me.  That he will redeem my thoughts! I am his daughter, he made me...being an artist I know what it is like to intentionally make something a certain way...to put so much love and effort into a piece...God is an artist...we are all products of his work...and God doesn't make something without putting great thought in it...I know this is going to be a struggle for me that is just not going to go away like magic...as Christians there are certain things each of us struggle with that will rear its ugly head a us throughout our life...But I want God more.  I fail so often at so many things and the only reason I don't throw in the towel is because I want God more! He is sufficient, he is a redeemer, he satisfies and justifies...and while we will still struggle in life, its ok because HE WILL see us through...and he allows us to struggle because it only makes us stronger...and he understands when we hurt because there is NOTHING he has not experienced for us!

So yeah I totally wish you could have heard this talk...there is sooooo much more to it than what I have addressed but I really think it will help me relate to the suffering world that is right outside my door...I am so excited about going on campus tomorrow and telling people that Jesus LOVES them so much it is ridiculous and it doesn't matter what you have done, where you have been, there is no sin to dirty that he can not cover, he is a healer, a lover, a father, a redeemer, and he wants to bring us back and restore our lives...he is for the un-loveable, rejected, beaten, wounded, abused, mistreated, lonely, no direction, homeless, heartless, weary, the empty...he wants us...no matter what...there is no sin to terrible that he hasn't already paid for!

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

~Romans 5:6-8

www.syrogers.com

PS. and I went running tonight in central park(I had company no worries) and it was awesome...we ran there which is pretty far, well maybe only a mile somethin and ran there and it was soooo what I needed...I just prolly do that more...and thats all!

Breaking point

So I'll just come out and say it...the past couple of days have been really hard for me.  I have hit a wall that has been building since I got here...I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted...I can blame some of that on the city but until yesterday I found a way to push through and endure it without much of a problem.  But today was my breaking point.

I have really been discouraged because I feel like everyone I share my faith with, it never really goes anywhere...It does but it doesn't...like I have had some really amazing conversations with people which is great...but my human nature wants to see results...I want to see someone trust Christ.  Out of all of the years that I have been a Christian and all of the times I have shared my faith, no one has come to Christ that I know of...and sometimes I ask, God is there really a purpose in me doing all of this?  While in my head I know the answer already, which is yes there is a purpose...I firmly believe that as long as I am obedient to the Lord and share my faith like I have been called to do then that in itself brings glory to the Lord, even if I never see the results.  and I know that and I do believe it...but sometimes it is hard to hold to that knowledge, and feeling like every conversation is going no where(even when it really is), or when my friends are seeing people come to christ and im not, its just hard for my heart...I feel so burdened for these people and I want them to know Jesus!

I have experienced similar emotions with some of my friends at school who are not believers...I want them to know Christ so bad because I love them so much and I don't want them to go to hell...it is really overwhelming and my heart is  burdened for them all of the time.  I guess the Lord is teaching me patience and trust because I need to come to terms with the fact that I can't save anybody! That is up to the Lord and that person...but what I can do is be obedient to what he has called me to do whether I feel like it or not, whether I see the results or not...it doesn't matter...I have been called to bring him glory and that is what I have to do, even when it is really hard.  Cuz it is not about me...at all!  If I go through the rest of this summer project with every conversation being frustrating, or never seeing the results of my efforts so be it...I am confident that God has called me here, even if it is just for him to find me in my brokenness and for me to try to bring him glory.

I guess another thing that kind of broke me today was we couldn't get into our campus today.  We went to City Tech today in Brooklyn and last week when we went we were actually very encouraged because the security guard was a Christian and he found a way to get us in so we could talk to students...Today things were different...we couldn't get in so we tried to find some people outside and stuff...we went to a park and actually talked to this one guy (he had been shot 5 times and lived through a 6 month coma), his story was amazing...we shared the gospel with him but he said he already accepted Christ which was cool...but throughout the day we approached many more, and no one would give us the time of day...and I know there is a purpose in that and that God's plan is so much bigger than mine but im sure you can understand how that could be frustrating.

On an encouraging note, my discipler (Caitlyn) and all the people here have been so supportive the last couple days as I have been trying to process these emotions.  They have challenged me, and greatly encouraged me.  I spent some time with Jesus right before bible study and I opened my Bible and I had opened it to Isaiah 49 and I was greatly encouraged!..I was just like WOW God thank you!  After that, Bible study was pretty sweet...we are reading this book called Prodigal God by Tim Keller and it is just great...I will have to tell ya'll about it in another post.  But thankfully my night has been so much better!  I really wrestled with whether or not I should share these struggles on my blog...but I feel like I wanted ya'll to know what I am going through and that I am not perfect...and that I am just a girl who loves Jesus but I am in process...and that is an ok place to be because I know that usually when I am at my breaking point or at my weakest...thats usually when I find my greatest strength in Him!

The empire state building is our north star

So tonight we were walking back from yogurt land which is on like 8th street or something...and we live on 34th...and my roomate Becca says "the empire state building is like our north star"...she is so right because the thing is so tall you can see it from almost anywhere so all you have to do is just walk until you run into it and your round about in the right place...I just thought it was great!

I have so much to say right now but I need to go to bed for real!  So I will just leave you with a praise that two people came to Christ today...yayyy! 

We had our monday night meeting tonight which was headed up by the arts track and the meeting was focussed on dying to self and trying to do everything for God's glory :) and then we all went to yogurt land afterwards...its such a great place...here we attempted to eat yogurt for God's glory...so serious ya'll!  

um since this is brief I'll share some prayer requests...Pray that our team will not be discouraged, but will continue to share the gospel boldly and that peoples hearts will be softened.  Pray that we will find energy in our wearyness...I tend to get really really tired in the middle of the day and that can be hard...pray that we will be challenged in ways that will produce growth for our faith...Keep me in your prayers...the Lord is dealing with me in a couple different ways that I hope to go into more detail later, I just really need to go to bed, but yeah until next time :)

Being civilized is overrated

Ya'll Jesus has blessed me with such a relaxing day!  Went to this random but not so random church, ate a really great burger, threw frisbee and ran in Central Park, and just laid around all evening...I feel so rested and that is something I have not felt since I have been here! I got to talk to my Daddy twice(HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD!), talked to my Grandpa(Papa), my Mom, and my little brothers...not to mention one great conversation with my girl Hannah Price...she is amazing and I lover her :)

So I wanted to blog about my church experience today...So we meant to go to this church called Trinity Grace annnnd since there are so many churches with the name trinity in it we went to some random baptist church on the upper east side by accident.  So we realized what happened and decided to just stay put...totally a God thing!  I am not going to get too detailed but the message was based on MATTHEW 11.  The pastor talked about John the Baptist and how he was seen as a messy, wandering, crazy kind of guy...or a barbarian.  He offered the idea of what it might look like if Christians stopped living a life of civilized Christianity and started living like barbarians for Christ...so many people (especially christians) play it safe and miss out on living a life for Christ.  What would it look like if we were all barbarians for Christ...being crazy for him, telling people about him and not caring what anyone thinks.  Sometimes the church can be the greatest offender to the kingdom simply because we are lazy, ignorant, afraid, prideful, stuck in our ways people...but THANKFULLY our God created grace and Jesus has offered it for us to take...I don't deserve it, you don't deserve it, truth is no one will ever deserve it but he gave it to us anyways...and if we take it he promises us abundant life, fellowship with him, and the opportunity to live our lives for him...but what he doesn't promise us is a safe life...from hurt, brokenness, death, pain, persecution...but he does promise that he will be there every step of the way AND that he has been through it all!  I think sometimes we think...oh woe is me im going through this intense struggle and no one understands...well NO cuz Jesus does...I mean he died for us, he carried the sins and burdens of the entire world on his back...he knew our struggles before we knew them...why in the world would we think the he wouldn't understand.  This sermon really got me this morning...cuz this is stuff I tend to struggle with...prime example, fear.  I actually read a passage later that was really encouraging to me...its 2 Corinthians 4! You should prolly read it.  So yeah I guess my challenge for myself and for you is just to ask...what have I done for God lately?  Have I stepped outside of the box of civilized christianity at all, or even considered it?

Please pray for us tomorrow as we continue our work on campus...pray that the Lord will use us to reach students with the gospel, his love, grace, that they will come to have a relationship with him and become barbarians for Christ!